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By
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, QMI Agency
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Katy Perry
Teenage Dream
(Capitol)
Katy Perry is more than just a teenage dream.
The California pop phenom is so hot these days that one Canadian fan recently tried to pass himself off as a Sun Media writer to get an advance copy of her sophomore CD from her label EMI.
"I would be interested in writing a detailed track-by-track review for Katy's new summer smash album," wrote the would-be scammer, to whom I will refer as John (since it's his name). Nice try, John (though between you and me, the "summer smash" line was a bit much).
A threatening e-mail put a stop to him. But any artist whose fans will attempt fraud to hear her music deserves a song-by-song review, don't you think? Besides, even Perry admits that Teenage Dream - which goes on sale Tuesday - will decide whether the provocative pop cutie-pie is a flash in the pan or a superstar in the flesh.
So, without further ado, here's the lowdown. Oh, and John? Katy says hi - in your dreams.
Teenage Dream | 3:47
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Katy wants to go "all the way tonight" with a boy who likes her "without any makeup." Maybe this is about fiance Russell Brand (who probably just wants the makeup for himself). In any case, this chunky midtempo rocker is a pretty mediocre opener.
Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) | 3:50
A morning-after-the-night-before tale set to a clangy guitar, a lightly bouncy beat, oscillating synths - and a sax solo. A slight improvement, but even so, I Kissed Another Girl it is not.
California Gurls | 3:54
Snoop Dogg drizzles his shizzle over Perry's ubiquitous fun-loving funk-pop response to Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind. If you aren't already addicted to (or sick of) this, congrats on finally coming out of that coma.
Firework | 3:47
Perry breaks out the lung-busting vocals for a string-topped disco-rock anthem. "Boom, boom, boom," she wails. "Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon." Blah, blah, blah.
Peacock | 3:51
"I wanna see your peacock," chants Katy over Mickey's cheerleader-rock beat. Don't get it? Don't worry; she repeats the last syllable ad nauseum. Enjoy, parents.
Circle the Drain | 4:32
A stabblng guitar riff, a disco-rock beat, big reverberating vocals and angry, expletive-laced lyrics directed at a drug-abusing lover. This '80s throwback is easily the edgiest cut.
The One That Got Away | 3:47
Katy sings "in another life, I would be your girl," as the beat thumps and the strings soar. I presume this sweet pop ballad is not about the same guy as Circle the Drain.
E.T. | 3:26
She will, she will, rock you - over Queen's classic stomp-stomp-clap beat and some electronic throbbing. And yes, it does appear to be a love song to an alien.
Who am I Living For? | 4:08
Cue the dry-ice fog - it's time for the slow-burning electro-ballad. "Don't let the greatness get you down," advises Katy. Way to stay humble.
Pearl | 4:07
A low-impact electro torcher, complete with throbbing synths and pulsing beat. Katy does Eurythmics, basically.
Hummingbird Heartbeat | 3:32
Another guitar-driven '80s-style pop-rocker - but with lines such as, "You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity," and "The taste of your honey is so sweet." Birds and bees, get it?
Not Like the Movies | 4:01
The mandatory orchestrated piano-ballad closer. Expect to hear it playing over the closing credits of a teen-romance movie any second.
FINAL VERDICT: A few obvious singles, a couple of rockers, a few ballads, some dance cuts - it certainly covers the bases. And even if it doesn't hit any artistic or creative home runs, it'll still top the charts next week. And probably the week after that too. Clearly, Perry is living the dream.
